5 Ways to Show and Not Tell

After you knock out your first draft, return to your manuscript with fresh eyes to transform your “tells” into “shows.”

For that second pass, here are a few practical ways to “show” rather than “tell”:

1. Share Stories

Stories allow reader to experience what the character is experiencing.

Telling is saying, “She was bullied.”

Showing is helping the reader to hear the ugly taunts, see the mocking faces, feel the sting of shame. 

Telling is saying, “I had an eating disorder.”

Showing is letting reader see teen picking at a few leaves of lettuce through her mother’s eyes: seeing sunken eyes, noticing an emaciated body and touching her daughter’s thin arm.

2. Use Dialogue

Dialogue engages the reader.

Share a pivotal conversation. Let the reader hear speaker’s tone of voice and glimpse a facial expression.

Caution: Be creative; don't use dialogue as another way to "tell"!



3. Appeal to reader’s senses.

Your job is to let the reader see and hear and smell and taste and touch what’s being described.

4. Be specific.

Use precise language. Instead of tool, hot, fruit and car, use “lathe,” “fiery,” “mango,” and “orange VW Beetle.”

Specificity makes your writing more colorful and engaging.

Caution: Avoid the temptation to overuse adverbs and adjectives. Instead, use better nouns and verbs!

5. Externalize what happens in a character's head.

Even if a character experienced something in her head—the realization that she was in love, or discovering he’d been denied admission to grad school, or learning that she has diabetes—allow the reader to experience it in a more visceral way.

Was her heart racing? Did he feel nauseous? Did she pull an envelope out of a cold tin mailbox? 

#showdonttell

*What are other ways to "SHOW" rather than "TELL"?  Leave a comment!

Writing Problem, Writing Solution: Telling an Animal's Story Via a Human Companion

The roadblock a writing client and I faced this week was how to communicate a powerful message in the telling of an animal's amazing story. Our solution was to use a human, who journeys alongside the animal. 

But we realized that some of the ways to "show" and not "tell," through the human, will be more effective, and engaging for the reader, than others.

As you'll see, we discovered that the best solution is to show the character interacting with the animal. The worst if to have the human thinking about her insight. (#telling) 

Serving the Reader By Telling an Animal's Story Via a Human Companion...

1. (Best) Human discovers something by interacting with the animal herself.

2. Human interacts with others who are interacting with, or impacted by, the animal. 

3. Human observes others interacting with the animal.

4. Human notices, sees, overhears, others talking about their experience with the animal.

5. Human has a conversation with someone else where she describes how she's experienced the animal's actions and impact.

6. (Worst) Human reflects, internally, on the meaning of the animal.

What's worked for you?